Jolene Brackey
Enhanced Moments
P.O. Box 326
Polson, Montana 59860
407-883-3770 phone/fax
jolene@enhancedmoments.com
When a person has Alzheimer's they lose their short-term memory. We know this because they repeat their stories over and over and over again. When you ask them what they had for breakfast, the reply goes something like this… "I didn't get any breakfast, would you make me some?" When in fact they did get breakfast but just cannot remember they did. If you say to them, "I heard you had a wonderful visit with you son yesterday". They answer, "My son didn't come see me. I haven't seen him in months. Where is my son?" These very common replies affirming they lose their short term memory. One of the positive aspects of Alzheimer's disease is they retain their long term memory to detail if we learn how to trigger it. So when you are having a conversation with them focus on their long-term memory. Instead of asking them what they had for breakfast ask them what they like to eat for breakfast…pancakes or cereal. They can usually answer that. You may have to take it a step further and ask the question so they only have to yes or no. For example…"Do you like pancakes for breakfast?" They can say yes or no far into the disease.
It is also important to know that as disease progresses their age regresses. In other words they get younger and younger in their mind. We know this because who are they looking for? Their mom, their babies, or their husband but don't recognize their husband because he is an old man. They remember him as a handsome young beau. In other words, they may lose the last 20 years, the last 40 years or the last 60 years of their memory. They may think they are somewhere between 4 and 24 in their mind. If they are looking for their babies you need to give them an answer so they are reassured that their babies are ok. "I just laid your babies down for a nap. They were sleepy." If they are looking for their husband and their husband passed away over ten years ago the answer you need to give is…"Your husband is a work but he would be home for supper." If they ask, "Where's my horse?" and you reply, "You don't have a horse anymore. You are eighty- two years old and live here now." In their mind they are thinking…WHAT!!!! I lost my horse. My dad is going to tan my hide." Again reassure that their horse is OK so a better answer might be, "Your horse is in the barn."
Many people think this is lying but if you really think about it, you are actually "Living Their Truth." They would not be asking about their babies if they knew their children were all grown up. They would not be asking about their husband if they knew he was dead and they would not ask for their horse if they thought they didn't have one. Again they have lost their short-term memory and are living in their long-term memories.
Another positive about Alzheimer's is you can make mistakes because "Yea!!" they have short -term memory loss. So if you give them an answer that makes them upset or they don't believe you, you get many chances to find the answer that works. So when they come around the corner in the next 30 seconds and ask you the exact same question keep trying different responses until you find the one that helps them feel safe and secure with you. Once you find the answer that calms them down…you have just found a treasure you can use over and over again. Be sure to share your treasure with the rest of the staff so you all have the same story. It absolutely works to "live their truth" but you need to be genuine and sure of yourself when you "live their truth". If you hesitate or don't feel comfortable telling them something that isn't reality, they will sense that and won't believe you. Your gift to a person with Alzheimer's is to help them find joy and comfort in this place in which they need to live.